This work has been amazing. I have the most uniquely beautiful, most profound clients. We therapists are so lucky to accompany people on this journey towards themselves, to get changed ourselves by their growth. That is the truth for me, that I am nourished, as well as stretched. I feel so grateful to walk the edge of gentle challenge and warm acceptance with them. It’s that edge where the change happens. Intimacy in our everyday relationships is to be treasured. In the therapeutic practice, it gets worked with consciously, and that is the alchemy.
Recently a client practically begged me to see a family member, to make an exception. But for a variety of reasons this can’t happen: dual relationships, ethical issues for clinical social workers’ code of ethics, etc. This client noted how hard it is to tell whether a therapist is good, a sad but true fact. So I make referrals and when they work out it is good, but more than one referral has fallen flat, I feel for the clinician who I thought highly of and still do, and for the person seeking a therapy who is still without help.
The good fit doesn’t always happen in my office either. But when it does, and luckily it happens often, clients think it is my technique and skills, a combination of an Object Relations and Attachment theoretical framework and Somatic Transformation, a body centered relational somatic approach, which makes the work successful. Some of that’s true, but we came together, with unique circumstances, our own internal worlds and virtually intangible yet felt senses that we might work well together.
A friend told me she chose her therapist because on their first meeting the therapist had a torn stocking; she said she felt sure this woman was not perfect, so she trusted her. Another person might have not noticed, or noticed and found the stocking run “proof” of some flaw that made the therapist useless to them.
Though, early on I wished I could treat and help everyone, practice has cured that in me. I am not always a fit for everyone and fit is idiosyncratic at best. What has evolved between me and my clients when it works seems almost miraculous. People have experienced shifts in being and self knowledge, and changes in orientation towards self and others and maybe above all feel grounded in themselves. With this deepening experience, I can understand why they want just me for their families; after all it was with me they made this change for themselves. I am flattered but not under any illusion. That I can be helpful and therapeutic for my clients is what I hope for and feel confident about.
I want to practice with integrity and love and to create safe empowering places for people to create change for themselves. I feel grateful that I have been blessed so far to be able to do that. I know I share this intention with many fellow clinicians and am proud of the circle of commitment I share with them.
In warmth and respect I thank you for your time, it takes work to read something. I look forward to serving for many years to come and growing this voice, evolving roles and my practice.
I wish you blessings and good things in your life.
Humbly,
Meira
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